So turns out I don’t have a fear of heights… but I do have a deep-seated fear of falling. After building so many structures with Sean, it's mind boggling that I’ve never been the one actually ON the roof installing the sheathing. Somehow I've never needed to get up there because I'm usually ripping plywood.
But you know that feeling when you KNOW you need to do something, and… your brain says, “Noooo don’t make me do this!”
But your heart says, “You’ve GOT this. It’s time.”
This was my day.
Sean got the first row started, and then it was my turn. I donned the harness, and climbed the ladder, peering over the edge to see what I was getting into.
As I tentatively placed my feet on the roof for the first time, I was surprised to feel waves of panic moving through me. Despite the fact I was roped up safely, I couldn't shake the terror. I immediately got onto my belly and slithered to the edge where we were installing the outside beam — my stress response reached a fevered pitch.
As tears pricked in my eyes, I told Sean I needed a minute.
He looked at me, in shock (with no idea about my panic until this moment) and asked, “Are you ok?”
Then I had a good pause, and a good cry, right there on the roof. Not because I couldn’t do it — because I DID end up doing it, for 8 hours! To me, crying either means I’m exhausted (which in this moment, I was not) or it means I’m releasing something.
On this day, I released whatever irrational fear my brain was clinging to all these years… and I slowly eased myself into the challenge of learning a new skill. I was safely tethered to the front wall the whole time, with Sean coaching me from below and feeding me up the tools and supplies I needed. I’m so grateful for his patience and guidance.
I gained comfort leaning over the edge, screwing in the blocking, and then lifting piece after piece through the rafters, locking them into place, and nail-gunning each row to each beam. I rolled out each row of underlayment and secured them in place… 30 minutes before the rain came, of course.
(and although it seems like we're building a house with no windows below, that's not true. It's just not time to cut them out yet — we have a ton!)
Cheers to learning new things, and DOING THEM! I'm not rushing to get back on the roof to install the metal, but when the time comes, I'll be ready :-)
Hope this email finds you happy and healthy, wherever you are.
OH! And I need to tell you: If you've been eyeing SHEWild Yoga Teacher Training, we launched a brand new set of dates in APRIL 2023! It's one of the most amazing times of year to visit the Arctic, and the retreat portion is a little shorter (7 days instead of 12)... we know it's tough to get away from home for two weeks, so we're hoping this new model works in your schedule! Here are the details. Hit me up with any questions...
Arctic Hive Co-Owner/Founder
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